Gwen* was a joyful woman I met in a 12-Step fellowship Beginners Meeting almost 30 years ago when I was newly in recovery.
She was leading the meeting, with a little over a year sober, and rebuilding her life. She had lost everything en route to hitting a bottom– family, job, health and self-respect – and ended up homeless.
It was hard for me to even imagine her as the broken woman with a broken life that she described when she gave her qualification at meetings.
Gwen was so full of life. She laughed a lot. She smiled a lot. She gave off the vibe of having once been a cheerleader – she was very cute in a perky, ponytail kind of way. And the thing she cheered about was the power of God and the power of the fellowship.
Back then church basements always seemed kind of dark and smoky, because at most of the meetings, attendees smoked a lot. Gwen was a bright light in the middle of the room. Her encouragement lifted others up.
One of her most repeated encouragements was the slogan: Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle!
She said it all the time to those struggling against the disease of substance abuse disorder.
And knowing her brutal backstory and witnessing how her life became more and more restored, I knew her belief in the power of that slogan was well-founded.
Fast forward 20 years later to when I was the mother of a beloved son struggling in addiction to alcohol and opioids – a disease well-established in our family tree.
It was heartbreaking to see my son falling faster and faster through dangerous trap doors of addiction that we are all too familiar with.
I was feeling desperate for his life and for the possibility of his ever finding a recovery solution.
I was desperate for my son’s homecoming.
During those years when all seemed impossible there were sources of encouragement that I clung to daily including prayer, my own 12-Step fellowship, counseling and spiritual advisement.
And I thought of Gwen.
I thought of her recovery story. I thought of her transformation and the powerful example she was to others.
I thought of the slogan she spoke with a beaming smile:
Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle!
Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle!
Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle!
It buoyed up my belief that life for my family deep in the family-systems disease of addiction was somehow — some freaking how — going to turn around.
We didn’t give up on our son. We kept fighting to find solutions for him and for all of us. We held onto hope.
And our son’s miracle, like mine and like Gwen’s eventually happened …. in God’s time.
If the family systems disease of substance use disorder is upending your world, please hold on to the hope embodied my beautiful friend, Gwen:
Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle!
Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle!
Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle!
*Name changed to protect anonymity
Connect With Nancy
For information and guidance for help and resources for you or your loved one please email: info@nancyvericker.com
Nancy is co-author of Unchained: Our Family’s Addiction Mess Is Our Message.
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