I celebrated 30 years of recovery earlier this week at a 12-Step fellowship meeting.
That’s 10,976 days — one-day-at-a-time.
When I first began to attend those fellowship meetings, I never dreamed I would someday be what they call an “old timer.”
I was just looking for a solution to the spiritual, mental and physical illness ending in death, jail or an institution that had plagued my family for generations.
I found the solution by consistently attending 12-Step meetings and consistently following the suggestions – pretty simple ones actually – that were given to me there.
What drove me to seek help was that I had reached a reckoning point in my life where I was willing to follow those suggestions, and each day do the hard work of change. I knew my dependence on alcohol was sip- by- sip ruining my life and the lives of those I loved.
Last night as part of the celebration (which took place on Zoom) two amazing young women shared their stories of how their addictions robbed them of their happiness and self- respect, and how their own recovery took place.
Their lives now beautifully reflect their commitment to recovery. While our accounts differ in specific details, they share a key element. We all reached a reckoning moment when we hit a personal bottom that led us to seek a recovery solution for the brokenness in our lives
As a woman in long term recovery and as a parent of an adult child who is 10 years in recovery, I know the lifesaving value of that moment of reckoning.
No one can do the reckoning for you.
And, as hard as it sounds, it does no good to try to shield someone from that crossroads moment.
There is no getting around this fact: the reckoning moment is a point of great pain.
My son calls his reckoning moment his Gift Of Desperation – AKA God.
The paradox here is that the pain of desperation can save your life. It is the bridge to a happy and productive life in recovery.
That pain motivated me to seek help and grab hold of a way of life that ultimately gave me back my life… and much more.
I am grateful for the gift of that reckoning moment. I am grateful that no one stood between that moment and me. I heard the truth of what I had to do loud and clear. I was not swaddled from the truth. I was not enabled or protected from it.
The reckoning’s cold, hard truth was a gift that 10,976 days later I remain deeply thankful for.
Have you or a family member experienced a reckoning moment?
What implications did that moment have for your life?
Please share here. We can all be inspired by our collective experience, strength and hope.
Connect With Nancy
For information and guidance for help and resources for you or your loved one please email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Nancy is co-author of Unchained: Our Family’s Addiction Mess Is Our Message.